Losing such a young dog, that you love completely, at her absolute prime of life, in the best condition she has ever been in does not leave you unchanged. I don’t think I will ever quite be the same again. Some may say thats a GOOD thing, weak grin, but it also clarifies your priorities, challenges your mental stability, and gives you a very strange view on life for a while.
For example, Jadey came home…. her ashes are in a beautiful wooden casket, which, somehow was comforting because it was an identical casket to the one with Dylan’s ashes in. And because she is home… I feel some relief. Some comfort. How crazy is that? She is no longer alive!!! I should get NO comfort on bringing home her ashes, only Jadey alive and well…. but you change somehow internally, and you settle for small mercies, and the small mercy is….. she is home.
We also were talked through the biopsy findings by the chief vet of the group. He took a lot of time to explain things and was superb. But again, that ‘small mercy’ thing has come up again. Really I shouldn’t care WHAT took her, just that she is gone. But with other dogs here I care VERY much what took her and why.
Jadey had a devestating case of ‘Necrotising Enteritis’. This is not common in canines. It is not something that can be passed to other dogs and it is not genetic. It is ALSO, thank god, not poison, but shows all the same side effects internally. It is basically a huge self generated internal infection. For those with a little breeding knowledge the only way to describe it is similar to a very bad ‘internal Pyometra’ (infection of the womb). Of course Jadey was spayed, so there was no pyometra, but this infection grew in her intestines very quickly, with devestating effect, killed all the tissue and rendered her utterly defenseless.
Another unbelievably reassuring finding was that occasionally Necrotising Enteritis can be caused by the onset of Canine Parvovirus…. and with a 7 week pregnant bitch on the premises that would have been a disaster not even worth trying to imagine, but its not, the report and discussion basically said no Parvovirus was present in any part of the lesioned area or in Jadey herself.
They ruled out ingestion of a toxin (poison basically) based on the fact that the damage in which case would be higher in the gut and more widespread, but no artifical toxin was found at all. Jadey did not eat poison. Please god that means our other dogs are not being exposed to danger, which is a cause, again, for that mad, crazy, feeling of relief and slight comfort.
I cannot even begin to talk about our sense of loss. Hopefully her tribute on our website page said all that I can say out loud. The rest stays inside, and will forever. Partly because sometimes words CAN’T say what you want them to say, and sometimes because if you share them, it cheapens them. Jadey was many things but cheap was NEVER one of them…. weak smile.
Thank you for taking the journey to hell and back with us this last week. Your contact, wishes, words and thoughts and prayers will never be forgotten. If I write on the blog, in a day or two, sounding like the usual Di, reporting on Bondys training, or a Fish working test, or the Shiney babies, please, never think Jade is forgotten. Don’t think badly of me. But life has to go on, although I only decided that pretty much the last day or so to be honest, and our world and kennel has been ripped apart the last few weeks, but our passion for what we do remains, and we shall see you all somewhere soon. A bit battered, rather different inside, and with some new ambitions which are not the same as before, but all the same, we’ll be back! We owe it to Jadey who worked her socks off for us all her life in whatever we asked her to do.
With much love to all
Swim forever, Princess.